Obscanity: You'll know it when you see it

Lesbian mom asked to quit PTA over Prop. 8 – Sacramento News – Local and Breaking Sacramento News | Sacramento Bee.

Robin McGehee, who enrolled her son Sebastian at St. Helens Catholic School, says she went to a vigil for the "No on Proposition 8" campaign last Thursday. After that, a priest from the Diocese of Fresno told her to step down because she had gone against church teachings.

Pam’s House Blend:: Californians Against Hate founder files complaint against LDS.

Memo: Same-sex marriage strategy discussed by Hinckley in 1997 – ABC 4.com.

Interesting that the LDS Church also basically informed church members that they were expected to donate their time and money to this effort. I don’t think people appreciate just how much influence the church has over its members. Check out this letter to church members. (PDF)

Pam’s House Blend:: Marriage Matters to Us.

An excellent article challenging the notion that marriage equality is not important to black same-gender couples; it’s a response to Jasmyne Cannick’s article in the LA Times, in which she suggests that marriage equality is (or should be) a low priority for black queer folks, or that somehow the entire community deserves what it got because the No on 8 campaign failed to reach out to black voters. At least, that’s what the article sounds like to me. But this first article I posted definitely combats the myth that marriage rights are really only important to rich white people who have property to protect. In fact those are the ones who are least likely to NEED marriage protection, because they have the resources to hire attorneys and create trusts and stuff. They are also less likely to be working in public sector jobs and therefore relying on family benefits provided to county, state and federal employees.

Anyway, yeah. Check out the article.

Lisa Derrick: Prop 8 Boycott Called on Legendary El Coyote Restaurant.

I tried giving the lady the benefit of the doubt because she was only an employee of the company according to her donation form, where she claimed she was just the restaurant manager… but it seems she lied. She’s a co-owner and her family has had ownership in the restaurant since it opened.

Pam’s House Blend:: Legislators file friend of the court brief to stop Prop 8.

Protect Marriage, Protect Children, Prohibit Divorce from Jonathan Smith.

I would never truly support this because I think divorce has saved lives, but they make a powerful point – if you want to protect marriage, protect it from the things that destroy it (divorce, shotgun weddings, “Who Wants to Marry a Millionairre”), not the things that strengthen it (loving, committed couples).

Thousands March Against Prop 8 in Silver Lake.

Okay, so I’ve been seeing this argument about gay marriage being “taught in schools,” and I simply cannot let it stand anymore.

Your children were never going to learn about gay sex. They were never going to learn that they could marry a princess if they couldn’t find their prince. They were never going to be taught to be gay. They were only going to learn that some of their classmates had two mommies or two daddies. And guess what? They still are going to learn that some of their classmates have two mommies or two daddies. Just because their parents aren’t married, it doesn’t mean they stop being parents.

As a Jew, I would be horrified to be told I needed to tuck my Jewish star into my shirt because some Christian parents were worried that their children might become confused if they learned that some people don’t believe in Jesus as the messiah. It is not the responsibility of the school to make sure your children grows up with your values. That is YOUR responsibility.

Similarly, as a gay person, I will not tell my future children that they have to hide their family just because some other children might be confused. We have the right to exist. You cannot take this away from us by taking away our right to get married – all you do is hurt our children by refusing them the same protections that your children have.

If you don’t want your children to know that some people are different from you, don’t send them to a public school where they will encounter people with differences. Don’t let them see disabled people, because they might ask questions. Don’t let them see people of different races and ethnicities, because they might ask questions. Keep them away from children who write with their left hands, because they might ask questions. Don’t let them associate with people of different religions, or people whose parents are divorced and have remarried, because they might ask questions. Let them think that all people are the same as you. It is your right as a parent to exercise your choice to keep your children out of public schools if you disagree with their decision to serve all children and not just yours. But do not challenge my right to EXIST.

As for the “sexuality” issue – you cannot reduce me to a sexuality. Do your children know that their parents love each other? Of course they do. Does that have to be prefaced with an explanation of how sexual intercourse works? Of course not. So why do you seem to think that children cannot understand the love between me and my wife without turning it into a sex lesson? It is not about sex. YOU were the ones who said it was about sex. Children understand LOVE. They understand that people love each other. That’s all anybody can ask for.

Gay marriage supporters take to California streets – CNN.com.

I am so glad they are covering this in the national news, although I do have to say that the numbers are being downplayed tremendously. Generally speaking, whenever they give you a numeric estimate, you can almost guarantee that the real number present was at least twice that, if not three or four times the official estimate. But other than that little flaw, I’m glad they’re reporting on it. It’s been truly inspiring to see so many people take to the streets, especially since these are both LGBT Californians AND their straight allies, friends, family, etc. People are furious.

It still amazes me that church leaders have actually suggested that Prop 8 wasn’t directed toward any particular group. Just who do they think they are kidding?

N-Word Hurled at Blacks During Westwood Prop 8 Protest.

I understand that people are angry, and I understand that a 70% victory for Prop 8 in the black community looks really bad – if that number is even correct. But there are some things you need to remember:

1) The numbers simply do not add up. We would have had to turn at LEAST an additional 20-25% of black voters into NO votes to even have a CHANCE at flipping the result. A similar shift in only 2-3% of white voters would have had the same result. Yes, many black voters came out to support Obama and also supported Prop 8, but you have to look at more than percentages in order to get the real picture here. We can be disappointed in or saddened by the breakdown of the black vote on Prop 8 without placing blame or turning this into a racial dispute. We might also suggest that the No on 8 campaign could have done a hell of a lot more to create allies in and be allies to the black community, and not only so they would have something to remember on election day when they voted on our rights. In the end, don’t forget that black LGBT Californians want and deserve the right to marry too.

2) Remember that by arguing that this is the black community’s fault, you’re accepting the logic of the Yes on 8 campaign, which INSISTS that their victory was the result of the surge in black voters. Doesn’t this sound at all suspect to you? To me, it seems like this is a way for them to get in a triple-whammy – increase homophobia AND increase racism AND deepen the divide between the LGBT and black communities (thereby increasing strife between oppressed minority groups), all the while standing back and pretending like their lies and money had nothing to do with it.

Are we going to let them get away with that?

If you want to place blame, place the blame on the people who funded, contributed to, endorsed, and ran the Yes on 8 campaign of lies and deceit. Blame them, because THEY are responsible for this outcome.

Below is a list of resources to help you in your boycott of those individuals, businesses and organizations who either publicly endorsed or contributed money to the passage of Proposition 8. I cannot stress enough that this list must NOT be used for illegal activity, including but not limited to violence. This is not a witch-hunt, and it must not turn into discrimination. It is purely and simply about the refusal to subsidize your own oppression. It is about not handing money to those who will turn around and use that money to harm you. That is IT.

• Secretary of State’s searchable contribution database
• Mormons for 8 – A detailed resource that shows you exactly where the Mormon contributions occurred. The VAST majority of donations over $1,000 came from Mormon individuals.
• Californians Against Hate – Dishonor Roll – A list of the top donors to Prop 8.
• A list of those who made public endorsements of Yes on 8 through their campaign homepage
• The Secretary of State’s . It is an Excel file. Download it. Save it. Search it. Be aware that there may be a few multiple entries due to some confusion on my part regarding the Secretary of State’s different spreadsheets. No matter – if somebody donated, they donated. NOTE: THIS WAS UPDATED NOVEMBER 10 BECAUSE I REALIZED THERE WERE ADDITIONAL ORGANIZATIONS THAT COLLECTED DONATIONS ASIDE FROM THE MAIN CAMPAIGN
• A compilation (Excel) of Mormons for 8‘s spreadsheets. They have changed LDS members’ names to first name, last initial; the point is for you to see just how much they contributed, especially those who made large donations.

If you know of any further resources, please let me know. And remember, we do not fight hate with hate – use these lists ONLY to prevent your money from being used to fund your oppression. We do our cause no favors with violence or hatred – it’s wrong, and it makes us no better than them. And I cannot stress the importance of talking to people about why you are doing this. You are not punishing them for their beliefs – you are exercising your right to avoid contributing to the cause of hatred with your own money. If people who only donated a minimal amount come to understand that Proposition 8 was about hatred, and vow not to continue support for it or for similar propositions, then you can safely resume business with them without worrying that you will be funding oppression.

This is the message that went out to my friends and family on Wednesday:

I have been wondering what I would to say to everybody if Proposition 8 passed.

I am by no means an optimistic person. I was here when Proposition 22 passed, watching the returns come in, and it was the worst night of my life.

But when we were so far ahead only a month ago, I made the mistake of letting myself believe, even as the gap was narrowing, that Californians were not so supremely stupid and ignorant that they would fall for the lies being put forth by the Yes on 8 campaign. I made the mistake of letting myself hope. I made the mistake of letting myself have faith in California and its people.

It just seemed so obvious. “Protecting California’s children”??? Seriously? Protecting them from what?

Well, I think we all know “what.” The underlying suggestion is and always was that we as gay people are either a) child molesters, or b) going to turn your children gay. That was the foundation of the Yes on 8’s campaign, and if you voted “yes,” then you bought it, hook, line and sinker. Congratulations on your gullibility.

“Gay marriage” was never going to be taught in schools. Yes on 8 knew that. No church was going to lose its tax exempt status. Yes on 8 knew that. No religious institution was going to have to shut down or perform same-gender marriage. Yes on 8 *knew* that. They also *knew* they were lying when they told supportive people that “Yes on 8” meant “yes on gay marriage.” Again: They knew they were lying to thousands upon thousands of CA voters when they called them and told them a “yes” vote was a vote to support gay marriage.

They *knew* they were lying.

But you didn’t?

I find this hard to believe.

So I’ve decided what I’m going to say to everybody *if* Prop 8 passes. (I cannot accept that it has, as long as my own personal vote has not been counted, which it has not. Provisional ballots and absentee ballots delivered on election day will not be fully counted until about 30 days after the election, and there are at least a million votes missing in LA County, based on the estimates of 4+ million registered voters and 80%+ turnout.)

So what will I say?

Well, if you voted NO on Proposition 8, you are wonderful. Heterosexual and voted no? Even more awesome. Thank you for seeing through the lies and recognizing that none of us are safe unless all of us have the same rights. You are on the right side of history. Our fight is not over, and we will keep fighting until we are treated as EQUALS under the laws of California and the laws of the United States. We will not accept second-class citizenship.

Support equality but did not vote? You are the face of complacency. Hopefully next time you will realize that your vote is necessary. You are partially to blame for this. I hope you can live with yourself.

If you voted YES on Proposition 8?

I struggled with this one. I really did. My first inclination was to say, “You are dead to me.” I am still trying to talk myself out of that reaction. At this point I have decided that the most fair approach is to return to you what you have given to me. So here goes:

I don’t hate you. Of course I don’t hate you. Because of course you don’t hate me, as many of you have said repeatedly throughout this whole campaign. It’s not about hate. It’s not about hate. So in return I will not hate you.

But I will not accept you.

I will not respect you.

I will not treat you as my equal.

I will not recognize that you deserve the right to marry, and I will not recognize your union as equal to mine.

Oh, I’ll smile and nod and shake hands when you introduce your husband or wife, but secretly I will be thinking, “What kind of marriage is so weak it needs protection against me?” So I will recognize your union for what it is – not a lasting commitment based on love, trust and mutual responsibility, but rather, a privilege that was achieved through active oppression of those you deemed unworthy of inclusion in this civil institution. That is no marriage.

That’s not to say that I will view all marriages this way. Only yours, because you admitted with your vote that your marriage was not strong enough to survive the possibility of equality for all Californians. I can only do you the favor of agreeing with you.

And someday in the near future, when it is your civil rights on the line, I will remember Prop 8.

Don’t think it won’t happen – now that we are in the habit of enshrining discrimination in our constitution, there *will* be more discriminatory amendments offered to CA voters, and some of them *will* pass. And I *will* remember Prop 8. When your opposition starts telling lies about you in order to garner support for your oppression, I will pretend I believe them, and I will pretend I have the same concerns, as you pretended when you “believed” the lies spread by Yes on 8 despite being shown time and time again that they were indeed lies.

That’s not to say I will vote to take away your civil rights. In the end, you and I are different, because I will actually struggle with whether or not I can live with myself if I am responsible for stripping somebody of their fundamental rights. But maybe I can. We won’t know until it happens. It may be that the only thing that saves you is my unwillingness to punish others for your sins. Either way, do know this: What goes around comes around. When I go to vote, I will do it with the memory of Prop 8 in my mind and in my heart. And when the results come in, I will not pity you, because I will remember how quick you were to take away my rights. You learn from experience – so maybe that’s the experience you need in order to learn.

And if I never get the opportunity to vote on your rights? It doesn’t matter. You are on the wrong side of history. Your children will know how you voted on Prop 8, and they will feel deep shame. And if they don’t know, I will tell them, and they will be ashamed of you. Your vote will not be forgotten. I will make sure of that.

Ultimately I will, as they say, “tolerate” you – which is a fancy way of saying that I will make do with the fact that you exist. That’s what toleration is. Maybe I’ll talk to you if I’m feeling particularly generous or feel like patting myself on the back for not hating you. I might even tell people I have a friend who voted Yes on 8, to prove that I don’t hate you all. Because of course it’s not about hate, right?

This may sound harsh, but if you feel that it seems over the top, go look in the mirror. Remind yourself that it is purely and literally identical to the treatment you have given me by voting Yes on 8. I believe in equal treatment. That is what you will receive.

May God forgive you. I certainly will not.

Catholics, Mormons defend backing same-sex marriage ban – CNN.com.

I don’t know how these people can POSSIBLY argue that this initiative “is not against any group.” Are you kidding me? This entire campaign was about “protecting” children from big bad scary gay people. It was an absolute SCAM, and completely illegal as far as Constitutional revisions go. It eliminates the concept of equal protection under the law, and removes the ability of the Court to protect minority groups against the tyranny of the masses. That goes to the very core of our Constitution.

In any event, the number counts are totally off on the rallies. The one Wednesday night was about 8,000-10,000 people – gay AND straight. I was there. I saw it. I marched. And it was fucking amazing.

Thursday’s protest was also much, much larger than the media and police are willing to report. I was not there but I know many who were. The news was initially reporting about 3,000-5,000, which probably means it was much higher than that. The sheriff then downgraded it to 1,000 even as the crowd was growing. This is typical of protests – they try to lessen the public perception of these inspirational images by pretending that nobody actually showed up. But they were there. Thousands of them. And generally speaking, despite the actions of a few individuals (including anti-gay counter-protesters who bloodied at least two protesters), it was a peaceful rally. Same with Wednesday night – I was shocked and appalled when I turned on the news and all they were showing was the one or two individuals who got out of hand and were promptly arrested. Even as the voiceover announcers explained that this was a peaceful protests and these incidents were anomalies, they still focused on the images of the arrests.

The bottom line, though? What are you are seeing in these marches is not *just* the gay community. It is not *all* of the gay community. This is, to a great extent, the *youth* of this city, the new generation, gay and straight and bi and queer and trans and religious and secular and black and Latino and white and Asian and Indian and Middle Eastern and Native American and Jewish and everybody else – the youth who are PISSED OFF that they will now inherit a California full of hatred and ignorance and inequality under the law, instead of the California they deserve, a California full of progress and hope.

Californians Against Hate – Dishonor Roll (Prop 8 boycott list)

And a reminder to check the list of public endorsements of Prop 8.

Prop. 8 protesters target Mormon temple in Westwood – Los Angeles Times.

Church officials made few public statements during the campaign. On Thursday, they issued a statement asking for "a spirit of mutual respect and civility."

Um, sorry. That requires MUTUAL respect and civility, and it is far too late for that. I’m not advocating violence, because this does our cause no good. The whole point of this battle is that it is about love. Not hate. Not violence.

That said, you get what you pay for, LDS. Enjoy your investment.

I find it fascinating that the comments on this eloquent post, and on so many others I’ve seen around the Internet, point to the black community and try to claim that they are responsible for Prop 8’s passage, as if to somehow absolve the Mormon church of its role in this campaign. Even that ridiculous blonde lady who keeps smirking on TV (she’s Mormon too) won’t shut up about the black voters, the black voters. But the black voters only constituted 10% of the entire voting population in CA. If you look at the monetary contributions to Yes on 8, an estimated 75-80% of the money raised came from Mormon wallets. So it’s hardly fair for Mormons to say, “Well, don’t blame us – go protest at the black church,” as I have seen on many websites with articles about the current protests. The black churches didn’t contribute millions of dollars, or fly thousands of people into the state to phone bank and go door to door and take taxis around the city to put up Yes on 8 signs. The Mormon Church did.

Boycott Public Endorsers of Proposition 8.

I am not posting the actual list on my site because I do not want to drive traffic to them via Google Ads. You can consult the plain-text list to which I have linked.

I will be compiling a list of donors as well.

The No on 8 campaign received a letter from the Yes on 8 campaign requesting that they engage in a debate over whether Prop 8’s failure would lead to kids being “indoctrinated in schools.” In other words, the Yes on 8 campaign asked for No on 8 to show up for a debate in order to legitimize their lies by making them sound like something actually up for debate. They might as well have asked No on 8 to come to a debate about whether gay people are child-molesters – we all know that’s what they are really thinking.

The No on 8 people refused to take the bait:

SENT VIA EMAIL AND COURIER
October 28, 2008
Frank Schubert
Campaign Manager, protectmarriage.com – Yes on 8
1415 L Street, Suite C-259
Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Frank:

Thank you for your letter. It would be a disservice to the people of California to debate an issue
that is completely unrelated to Proposition 8.

As you know:

Jack O’Connell, the state’s top educator and the nonpartisan-elected Superintendent of Public
Instruction says Prop. 8 has nothing to do with schools and that your campaign’s use of children
to make this false claim is “shameful.”

Delaine Eastin, his predecessor, says Prop. 8 has nothing to do with schools.

Dr. Ted Mitchell, the President of the State Board of Education, says Prop. 8 has nothing to do
with schools.

His predecessor, Reed Hastings, says Prop. 8 has nothing to do with schools.

The California Teachers Association says Prop. 8 has nothing to do with schools.

And leading newspapers have concluded Prop. 8 has nothing to do with schools.

The only debate worth having in California is why you have pursued such a deceptive campaign
strategy.

That debate is one you can conduct alone – with your conscience.

Cordially,
Steve Smith
Campaign Manager
NO on Prop 8

You are going to hell, Christian Newswire. You are going to hell for this statement:

Prop 8 Impact: Child prostitutes predominantly come from broken homes where girls do not have a stable two parent family. Instead they are either thrown away, run away or lured. If these children had the balance of a mother and a father the chances of them falling into the hands of the predator are drastically reduced.

I am appalled, seething, horrified, seeing-red furious over this article. This isn’t just an attack on gay parents. If you are an adoptive parent or a stepparent, or if you love your adoptive parents or your stepparents, then you should be furious at this comparison as well.

Children of households with same-gender parents HAVE STABLE TWO-PARENT HOMES. The only instability is the instability imposed by the state if Prop 8 passes.

I am sick to fucking death of people comparing the children of gay parents to the children of single parents. This comparison completely denigrates non-biological parents – ALL non-biological parents, including step-parents and adoptive parents of ALL sexual orientations – by dismissing them altogether, ignoring them, and pretending they do not exist unless they are genetically linked to the child. Adoptive parents and step-parents are parents too – to ignore them is to do a huge disservice not only to the parents, but to the children as well.

If you truly believe that children deserve a stable two-parent home, then for the love of God, LET THEIR PARENTS GET MARRIED!

Honor ALL mothers and fathers, not just the heterosexual ones. Vote NO on Prop 8.

Even the Orange County Register has come out against Prop 8. Yay! I just hope its readers will listen!

YouTube – No on 8 PSA: FAMILY Molly Ringwald.

AWESOME. Send to everybody you know. There is SO MUCH MORE we could be worried about right now. I saw that one couple sacrificed all their vacations for the next couple of years so they could donate $35,000 to the Yes on 8 campaign. Holy crap. Do you know how many LIVES you could have saved with that money? And you wasted it on Prop 8? It’s like being granted a wish, any wish in the world, and wasting it on designer jeans or a cute purebred puppy. If you want to make sacrifices for the greater good, make it mean something. Like our Yom Kippur prayer book said, “Always look after your own soul and another’s body, not another’s soul and your own body.”

YouTube – No on 8 PSA: NO vs YES

Joe. My. God.: Yes On 8 Worker Attacked.

Wow. I have never read such a blatantly biased article about something that may or may not have happened like they said it happened. They’ve been killing us, beating us, and torturing us for YEARS, and encouraging violence against us, but god forbid one of them gets a black eye and a couple of stitches, and suddenly they’re brutally beaten, “seriously injured,” and are turned into martyrs for the cause? Let’s ask Matthew Shepard how badly he thinks Jose was injured. Maybe we could see what Lawrence King thinks of Jose’s black eye. Let’s ask Sakia Gunn if she thinks Jose’s injury is serious.

Oh wait, we can’t – because they’re DEAD.

Then again, it’s entirely possible this “assault” was staged in order to garner negative publicity for the No on 8 campaign. At this point I wouldn’t put anything past the Yes on 8 bigots.

The REALLY funny thing is that this guy is a “native of Mexico” who “just” became a citizen 2 months ago. Hm. Weren’t you people (Yes-on-8ers) the same ones voting to deny public services to “natives of Mexico” only a few years ago? Aren’t you the same people who rail on Mexicans, whether or not they are citizens? Aren’t you the ones who try to fight any Spanish-language education in our schools for fear that Spanish will replace English as the national language? And yet suddenly you’re willing to use them as poster children for your cause?

What. The. Fuck. Seriously?

In light of all the money pouring in from the Mormon Church to help pass Prop 8 (I just had a deja vu moment and almost wrote Prop 22), it is nice to see that there are at least some in the LDS Church who understand what the marriage equality movement is about.

Well, that is just skeezy. One of the ads that comes up in my Google ad feed reads, “Support Marriage Rights / Get Involved in Discussions on Gay Marriage. Learn More Today.” You click on it, and it takes you to a YES on Prop 8 page! What the fuck? Prop 8 protects no marriages; if it passes, marriages will be destroyed, and thousands of future marriages will be barred. I don’t see how this protects anybody’s marriage rights, or protects anybody’s children, as the website loudly proclaims.

It does take away my marriage rights, though. This is not a political issue – it is about people’s lives. Real people. When you vote, think about the fact that there are actual, real people facing real and tangible harm if this proposition passes. And yes – those real people include the thousands of children being raised by same-gender couples in California. Marriage discrimination hurts them, too. If we really believe children are better off when their parents are married, shouldn’t we seek to encourage this healthy environment by letting their parents get married?