Obscanity: You'll know it when you see it

Gay Marriage: Our Mutual Joy | Newsweek Culture | Newsweek.com.

Miller makes a pretty strong case against the sort of anti-gay, exclusive rhetoric that’s been tossed around lately. While she’s pretty strong on the Jesus, New Testament, and biblical marriage issue, I think she could have gone even further with the story of David and Jonathan. There was no brotherly love there, if you know what I mean. It’s beyond obvious if you actually read the story.

Miller gets one detail wrong – it’s true that “not many” Jewish denominations (if you can call them that) sanctify same-gender marriage. But this is a misleading statement. There aren’t “many” Jewish “denominations” in the first place. The very largest one (Reform) does officially recognize same-gender marriage, with the second-largest one (Conservative) recognizing same-gender unions but stopping short at the word “marriage.” And I’m pretty sure the Reconstructionist and Humanist Jews recognize marriage as well. So while “not many” Jewish “denominations” (and that is so not the right word) officially recognize same-gender marriage or unions, most American Jews belong to one that does.

Other than that detail, it’s actually a truly fabulous article, although you might not know it from reading the comments, which all seem to be suspiciously similar and overwhelmingly in opposition.

Gee… I wonder why?

Well, in case you hadn’t already guessed, the conservative wingnut groups have been BLASTING this article to all of their members, insisting that they take action while at the same time not-so-subtly suggesting that they don’t actually read the article before doing so (why take the chance that somebody might actually listen to reason?). I’ve gotten a few emails to this effect. One of them was from the American Foundation for Self-Righteous and Holier-than-thou Consumption of Pornographic Material, more commonly known as the American Family Association (AFA). Here’s the email they sent out (God, I love it when the AFA sends out emails):

Newsweek magazine has published a lengthy article stating that the Bible supports homosexual marriage. The article was written Lisa Miller, Newsweek religion editor.

Miller’s article is one of the most biased and distorted pieces concerning homosexual marriage ever published by any major news organization. The article is much too long for this e-mail.

Dr. Albert Mohler has offered a response to the Newsweek article. I suggest you read Mohler’s article and then read Miller’s Newsweek article.

And in keeping with my tradition of translating the AFA’s fabulous and not-so-opaque communications, here’s what they really mean:

Newsweek magazine has published a very, very, very, very, very long article stating that the Bible supports homosexual marriage. The article was written Lisa Miller, Newsweek religion editor – for now.

Miller’s article is one of the most biased (and long) and distorted (and long) pieces in favor of homosexual marriage ever published by any liberal news organization. The article is much, much, much too long for this e-mail. It’s fewer kilobytes than some of the pornographic images that we’ve sent you in the past, but I promise – it’s much, much more boring, and will take much, much too much time to read.

Dr. Albert Mohler has offered a response to the Newsweek article. It’s a lot shorter. I suggest you read Mohler’s article instead, just to get the basic points. Then you can click on the Newsweek article link and leave impassioned comments about how very WRONG the author is. Don’t worry about not reading the article. Just quote some Bible verses and nobody will know! In fact, since most of you haven’t read the entire Bible either, Dr. Mohler has even been kind enough to tell you exactly which passages to cite in your comments, and how to interpret them. God bless him!

OMG. So… I did read the article, AND some of the raving comments, on one of my study breaks. Best quote ever, in the comments section. This woman rails on the author, making personal attacks against her, questioning her journalism credentials, suggesting that she might be better suited to write for the National Enquirer, saying her editor is crazy and greedy for allowing the article to be printed, and just generally insulting her for daring to suggest that the Bible might actually condone inclusivity.

Then, she innocently laments:

“As an American, I am beginning to feel persecuted for my religious beliefs…and becoming a minority. Will Christian Americans be given the same level of tolerance we have given to others???”

Oh, precious, I hope so.

Oh gosh. The American Foundation for Self-Righteous and Holier-than-thou Consumption of Pornographic Materials strikes YET AGAIN. I LOVE it when this happens.

Behold, the email I received this week, [and my own contribution, what you know they were thinking, in brackets]:

January 23, 2006

Please help us get this information into the hands of as many people as possible by forwarding it to your entire email list of family and friends. [Seriously. We think they’ll really want to see this one.]

Ford Helps Sponsor Explicit, Sickening [Hot] Homosexual Scene

Description and video of the scene below. [Keep reading; this is a really offensive, explicit one. We promise!]

Dear Obscanity,

Rather than backing down from its support of homosexuality, Ford Motor Company has apparently taken a ‘rub it in your face’ attitude. [Yes. They want to rub it all over your face. How dare they?]

On the January 16 episode of ‘Dirt,’ which airs on the FX channel, Ford helped sponsor one of the most explicit, sickening homosexual scenes ever shown on television.

Because it is so explicit, I could not even include a description of it here. [I needed to give it its own page complete with explicit descriptions and a link to the video.] I hope you will simply trust me. However, if you want to read our [detailed] review of the [hot] scene, or to see the video of the [hot] scene, click here. Be forewarned, it is extremely graphic [and hot].

Ford has made it extremely clear that they have no intentions of ending their support of homosexuality. Among other things, the company reneged on their agreement to remain neutral in the culture wars, increased their support of homosexual publications, sponsored TV programs pushing homosexuality and required employees to attend ‘diversity’ training promoting homosexuality. For more information on Ford’s track record, go to BoycottFord.com. [For more hot man-on-man action, see our previous action alerts.]

Take Action

Send an e-mail to Ford’s new CEO Alan R. Mulally.

Forward this e-mail to your local Lincoln, Mercury, Volvo, Jaguar, Land Rover, Mazda or Ford dealer (all owned by Ford). Find their e-mail address here (click on the auto icon). Ask the dealer to forward it to CEO Mulally.

If you haven’t already done so, please sign the Boycott Ford Pledge.

Print out the Boycott Ford Petition and distribute it at Sunday School and church.

Extremely important! Help us get the word out about Ford by forwarding this to friends and family! For more information on Ford’s support for the homosexual agenda, click here.

Click Here for an update on SB1 and Fox network alerts

If you think our efforts are worthy, would you please support us with a small gift? [Maybe an issue of Playgirl?] Thank you for caring enough to get involved.

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends!

Now, if you were wondering what you might find in their ‘review,’ check this out:

The following is a description of a scene taken from the January 16, 2007, episode of ‘Dirt’ on the FX network.

WARNING: The following description is graphic and offensive. [It’s so dirty you’ll want to wash your hands after viewing.]

Two [big, strong, supple] men on a backyard patio are discussing their acting careers when one of them asks the other if he may ask a personal question.

The other man says, ‘Relax. I’ve been thinking the same thing.’ He then places his hands on the first man’s face and pulls him in for a very long, passionate kiss.

He then says, ‘Every since I met you, I’ve been thinking the same thing.’ He then moves one hand down the first man’s shirt and rubs his crotch. Immediately he falls to his knees and begins undoing the man’s belt, pants and zipper. [Mmmm, isn’t that HORRIBLY perverse? Mmmmm. Yes. Perverse. They are bad boys. God hates them. God wants to spank them.]

After gazing at the man’s penis, he moves his head forward toward it.

The scenes cuts to a distance view, where the second man is seen giving the first man oral sex.

[We realize this may not be quite enough for you. In order to show you how TRULY offensive this is, we’ve taken the additional step of uploading the scene to YouTube so that even MORE people can witness this atrocity while typing one-handed (the other hand is on the Bible, of course).] To view the actual scene, Click Here.

I’d forgotten about this, until I received a reply recently that said, simply, ‘Thank you.’ I guess sarcasm is completely lost on them.

I received this email from the American Family Association. All links were included in the email, and I’ve left their emphasis (here’s some background about the AFA’s fabulous emails, if you need reminding):

May 11, 2006

Ford Makes Historic Move in Support of Groups Pushing Homosexual Marriage

Dear Obscanity,

Sign the Pledge! Earlier this year, Ford Motor Company sponsored a program showing two lesbians passionately kissing each other. Now the automaker has made an in-your-face move against traditional marriage advocates with the historic step of advertising all their name brands in a homosexual magazine. This followed a request by AFA that Ford withdraw from supporting any homosexual magazine.

In the May issue of the homosexual publication OUT, Ford has advertised all eight of their brand automobiles. This is first time in history that Ford has advertised all their brands in a homosexual publication.

In this issue of OUT, which Ford supported with their advertising, are articles such as Nightlife: Party All the Time. Here is the description OUT gave of that article: ‘Rockin’ and raunchy queer clubs are making a comeback, and we tell you where the three hottest places to play are.’

Another article was The Mix: Scary Lady, Porn 2 Go. Here is the OUT description: …porn stars cook up their favorite meals for your pleasure…’

Under the title The Long and Short of It, we find this description by OUT: Ronni Radner goes inside Runt, a weekly party for bite-size gay guys and the men who love them, and looks at the rise of the vertically challenged queer man.

To view the front cover of OUT, click here. To see the Ford ad supporting OUT, with all their brands, click here. Notice the wording at the bottom of the ad: ‘Standing strong with America’s families…’ Since this ad was run in a homosexual publication, evidently Ford considers two homosexuals to be a ‘family.’

To which I responded:

‘I want to thank you for the emails you send out regarding homosexuals in the media; were it not for you, I would never get to see two men posing half-naked on a magazine cover, or two girls kissing on TV. Like the rest of your readership, I very much enjoy staring at these images as I commend myself on standing up for morality. You brighten my day with your continuous flow of pictures which I can behold with revulsion as I print them out and paste them on my walls as reminders of your generosity and selflessness. Thank you, AFA. Thank you.’

Tell me if this doesn’t seem more like a promise or an advertisement than a warning:

WARNING: By scrolling down this page, you will see only a few of the offensive photos taken at the last Gay Games. There are dozens more. These photos are provided for informational purposes and only to show the types of activities Kraft Foods is sponsoring at the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago.

Scroll down to see photos.
Scroll down to see photos.
Scroll down to see photos.

I shit you not. This is on the “Gay Games Proof” page created for and linked from the American Family Association’s most recent email, which proclaims, “Kraft Says It Proudly Supports The Gay Games,” and offers these photographs as a representative example of activities commonly held by and/or sponsored by the gay games.

Never mind that these photographs bear the prominent copyright of chrisgeary.com, which is a pornographic site (heads up, AFA members! Not only are they sending you free porn, but they’re telling you where to find more!!). Never mind that these photographs were obviously taken of chrisgeary.com models, for chrisgeary.com. No, clearly these photographs represent the heart, soul and core of the Gay Games. It’s like sending a porn crew to dance outside a junior high school and then using their pictures to convince people that this is what sex education is like. It bears no relevance to anything. (Speaking of inappropriate behavior, did we all hear how Phucking Phred Phelps and his Klan o’Krazies just went to an elementary school to protest and threaten hellfire and brimstone for the homasexshuls because some little kid wrote an essay about Ellen DeGeneres?)

I can add this latest AFA email to my Hall of Shame, along with the following classics I’ve shared in previous posts (emphasis added):

“On December 31, 2004, CBS re-aired an episode of Without A Trace, complete with an extended teen-age orgy scene. The original broadcast of this episode had thousands of FCC complaints against it, which were tossed out in the November FCC/CBS “back-scratching” deal. Click here to view the abominable Without A Trace scene for yourself! Be warned, it contains offensive and graphic scenes.“

and

“YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THIS ABOUT PROCTER & GAMBLE, SO WE INCLUDED THE PROOF! . . . Suppose I told you Procter & Gamble created and ran an ad that showed two men (in fuzzy focus at top center of the ad) in bed after an apparent sexual encounter. . . Suppose I told you the ad showed clothing scattered across the floor like the two men were in a hurry to get undressed and get into the bed. . . [Thousands of self-righteous closet-cases are nodding their heads eagerly at this point, anticipating the next line even as they savor the last.] Suppose I told you the P&G ad was captioned with these words: “You were more concerned with taking them off than folding them up.” (In other words, the two men just could not wait to get into bed to have homosexual sex.) . . . Suppose I told you this ad, which leaves the impression that homosexual sex is normal, thrilling and exciting, was created by P&G and run in a homosexual publication called Xtra. I know you would have a hard time believing me. So see it for yourself. Click here to see the ad. If that link is no longer active, Click here. There should be no doubt P&G is aggressively promoting the homosexual agenda. A company doesn’t create and run an ad that leaves the impression that homosexual sex is thrilling and exciting unless they support the homosexual agenda. . .”

How many times can you say homosexual in one email? Does it get them off to say it? Do they say it with that conservative twang, which comes in several delicious variants? You know which ones — the two most common are “HomaSECKshul” and “HowmowSECKshools.” God forbid they should actually say SEX. Hmm. I wonder how the author of these emails says it. Really, I just wonder how old the naked men are — you know, the ones you know he’s imagining with relish as he drools drawls it out.