Obscanity: You'll know it when you see it

Oh, Ann Coulter. You always keep me laughing. So long as I don’t look at you. Then I just cringe.

I notice that liberals have not challenged the overall thesis of my rocketing bestseller, “Guilty: Liberal ‘Victims’ and Their Assault on America,” which is that liberals always play the victim in order to advance, win advantages and oppress others.

Ann, sweetie, liberals aren’t challenging the overall thesis of your “rocketing bestseller” because we have more important things to worry about, and your “book” is, well… not important. Also, we have no interest in contributing to your coffers, and frankly, we don’t want anything in our homes with your face on it. Please. Think of the children.

But since I’m bored, let’s comment on a few of the gems in Coulter’s whining-for-attention article:

Caroline Kennedy tried to Bigfoot her way into New York’s Senate seat while being bathed in the Kennedy light of eternal victimhood. The New York Times began a profile of Caroline by quoting an average citizen who “turns almost maternally protective” upon hearing Caroline’s name, mentioning the assassination of her father — nearly half a century ago.

Yeah. It’s not like Republicans in Congress defend their sex scandals by referencing Chappaquiddick. But CLEARLY the six years between Kennedy’s assassination and the Chappaquiddick scandal makes alllll the difference in terms of justifiable historical references. CLEARLY.

Meanwhile, Robert Kennedy hadn’t lived in New York since he was 12 years old. But the allegedly sophisticated voters of New York were awed by the Kennedy name, and dumped a popular native son.

Yeah. And how long had it been since Elizabeth Dole had truly been a resident of North Carolina when she ran for Senate in 2002? OH YEAH – since 1959! Whoops. If I’m doing my math right, that is about 43 years. Interestingly, that is about the same number of years Robert Kennedy was ALIVE.

But either way, Robert Kennedy was elected as a New York Senator in 1965. Coulter is talking about an election that happened more than 40 years ago. I thought we were leaving history out of this discussion?

The only reason McCarthy was elected to Congress in the first place is that her husband and son were shot by a crazed gunman on the Long Island Rail Road in 1993. Colin Ferguson’s shooting spree wasn’t stopped sooner because none of the passengers had guns. As has been demonstrated beyond dispute at this point, armed citizens save lives.

Well… funny thing. One of the passengers did in fact have a gun. His name was Colin Ferguson.

I don’t know a single conservative who thought America wouldn’t elect a black man.

*SNORT*

Well I’m sure she knows plenty who WISHED America wouldn’t elect a black man – and plenty who wouldn’t VOTE for one.

But ironically, Obama’s father is from Africa: He never suffered from the ancient policies that, today, give his son Victim Gold. To the contrary, if Obama’s African relatives had anything to do with slavery, it was on the business end.

Wow. This woman never fails to go for the low blow, does she? And so what if Obama’s great-great grandparents were not enslaved by the US? Does that mean his father was treated like anything other than a black man during his years in America? Does that mean Obama himself was treated as anything but a black man? Do racist assholes like Coulter go around saying, “Well, please, before I pass judgment upon you, tell me, were your ancestors slaves in the South, or are you of the category of dark Americans who are tolerable and acceptable to me?” No. They don’t inquire as to people’s history. They see black, and they respond.

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